The Touzoku Family
by TheBrokenNightmare
Summary: Bakura and Malik are married and have a son named Akefia,can Akefia handle their 'parenting' whilst he and his cousin Mana just want to have fun? Can Bakura handle his in-laws and his little brother constantly coming over? Can he handle the new neighbors? -HUGE crack fic with em-
1. Muddy Mess

A/N: this is a totally random story. It's about bakura and malik's messed up family :D and this is a sister fic to InsaneEvilLittleEmmy's story. She's doing Atem and Yami's family! So go and read it!

**Pairings:**

MonarchShipping with fem. Yami

ThiefShipping with Fem. Malik

**Ages:**

Bakura: 28

Malik: 27 (her and bakura are high school sweethearts er…accomplices)

Mariku: 27 (him and malik are twins)

Ryou: 25

Isis: 31

Rishid: 34

Akefia: 5

Mana: 4

**Warnings**: Potty mouths…sexual references…Drama…Mariku as a father, Malik with her motherness, and Ryou going to smother his older brother! Hehe, let's read shall we…

**Summary**: Bakura and Malik are married and have a son named Akefia. Can Akefia handle their 'parenting' whilst he and his cousin Mana just want to have fun? Can Bakura handle his in-laws and his little brother constantly coming over? More importantly can he handle the new neighbors?

**The Touzoku Family**

Akefia laughed and threw himself once again into the giant mud puddle him and Mana had created. Mana squealed as more mud was thrown all over her.

"Kefi, are you sure auntie doesn't care?" Mana asked for the third time in five minutes.

Akefia sighed as he pulled himself out of the puddle and looked at his cousin in the face. He almost laughed again when he saw the way she looked. Her long blond hair had mud all over it and her face had specks of mud almost everywhere.

"No! Come on Mana! Jump in!" He yelled in excitement as he grabbed his cousin's arms and dragged her into mud puddle.

The two kids starting giggling at each other and throwing as much mud as they could when a black car pulled into the driveway.

Ryou sighed as Mariku continued to yell about how he was hungry and needed to eat. Ryou was sitting in the backseat with Mariku as Isis and Rishid tried to ignore him from the front seat. They were all getting back from a very important meeting at the museum that Ryou, Rishid, and Isis worked at; they had to pick up Mariku on the way so that they could all go see their 'favorite' family.

Isis was about to yell at her younger brother to shut up when they finally pulled into the driveway and everyone's attention was drawn to the kids in the front lawn who were wrestling in a giant mud puddle.

Isis and Rishid were about to charge out of the car and pull the kids out of the filth when suddenly Mariku had opened his door and ran as fast as he could toward the mud puddle and jumped in himself. All of the adults in the car sweatdropped as they watched the twenty-seven year old playing in the mud with his daughter and nephew.

"He'll never grow up will he?" Ryou asked as he opened his door and started to walk toward the front door of his brother's house.

Isis and Rishid only nodded their heads as they began to unbuckle their seatbelts and climb out of the car.

Suddenly Rishid asked something that spiked Isis' interest.

"Where's Bakura and Malik?" he asked as he took off the dress coat his sister had made him wear to the meeting.

Isis was about to say she didn't know when she heard screaming from inside the house. Great they were at it again.

Mariku was laughing as he splattered both of the kids in the mud. Akefia tackled his uncle while Mana jumped onto him giggling.

"Daddy!" she yelled as she attached herself to Mariku's back and Akefia was attempting to push his uncle back into the dirt to teach him a lesson.

"Kefi! Stop hitting daddy!" Mana yelled as she lunged herself as her cousin to stop his assault on her dad.

Mariku about died of laughter when Mana had managed to pin Akefia face down and was ordering him to surrender.

"Never!" Akefia yelled as he attempted to squirm out of the grip.

Mariku was about to toss both of the kids into the mud when he heard a scream come from inside the house.

"Great…" he growled as he picked up both of the kids and began to walk toward the water hose to clean them off.

Ryou had about had a heart attack when the scream echoed through the house but kept it together. He could only imagine what his brother and Malik were doing.

He was somewhat afraid as he made his way into the house and toward the kitchen where he thought the noise was coming from. Ryou walked into the kitchen to find Malik throwing a knife at Bakura and missing his head by only a few centimeters. He felt his gut drop as he stared at the supposed two 'lovebirds'.

"Mal, calm the hell down! I was hungry!" Bakura yelled as he ducked from another knife that was thrown at him.

Malik just continued to screech as she threw anything she could get her hands on at her husband.

"I was making those for Isis! I wanted her to see that I could bake something and you ate it you fat hog!" Malik yelled as she ran out of knives and grabbed the other kitchen utensils to throw at him.

Ryou just stared as he waited for something to happen. Why did he bother to visit his brother again?

Akefia yelled as Mariku carried him toward the water hose, he knew what that meant. He really began squirming and trying to get out of his uncles unleashing grip when suddenly he was dropped on his butt next to Mana and water began to shower down on him and Mana.

"AAAHHHH!" both of them yelled as hands began to scrub the mud off of them.

Isis and Rishid sighed as they walked into the kitchen to see their sister throwing as many pointy and sharp items as she could find at Bakura.

"Damn it woman! Get over yourself!" Bakura yelled as a chopping block hit him in the gut and made him take a side step near the wall.

"Ha! You had no problem with me acting like 'this' on our honeymoon sweetheart!" Malik yelled as she took advantage of Bakura's misstep and ran at him as fast as she could at him.

Rishid was about to reach for his sister to stop her when suddenly screaming was heard and everyone except for the deadly couple turned around to look. Akefia came in running slipping over himself and screaming as Mana was right behind him. Isis, Rishid, and Ryou were about to grab the kids when Mariku ran in view soaking wet and holding the water hose which was still squirting water. All of them sweatdropped as they stared at him. He laughed as he pointed the hose at them and drenched them.

"Take that losers!" Mariku laughed as he continued to spray his siblings and Ryou.

"Mariku!" Isis screamed as Mana latched onto her leg and she was being sprayed with water in her favorite dress.

Ryou just sighed as he let the water hit his face directly. It was official, why did he bother to visit his brother?

Rishid frowned as he stepped in front of his sister and began to walk towards the source of the water. Today was officially crappy.

Akefia ran into the kitchen to look for safety from his uncle. He ran past the adults and right into his mother's legs as she reached Bakura and kicked him in the groin.

"H-holy Ra" Bakura mumbled as pain flashed across his face.

Akefia stopped as he hit his mother's legs and watched the pained face on his father and then watched him fall down. Akefia really didn't know what to say about the look of triumph on his mother's face. Only one thing came to his mind. OUCH.

**Okay hope you like it emmy! Personally I like yours better lol, I hope to make the second chap soon. Um I would love reviews! I would let each of you get a hug from Akefia! You know you want the little kiddie to hug you!**


	2. Bed Time

A/N: I don't own yugioh. Check out Emmy's fic- .net/s/7755892/1/One_Happy_Family

**Pairings: **

MonarchShipping with fem. Yami

ThiefShipping with Fem. Malik

**Ages:**

Yami: 24

Atem: 28

Yugi: 4

Mai: 19

Duke: 21

Pegasus: 27

Bakura: 28

Malik: 27

Marik: 27

Ryou: 25

Akefia: 5

Mana: 4

Warnings- potty mouths, extreme cuteness, Mariku hitting on Ryou, and Akefia walking in on his parents.

And yes Mana and Mariku do live at Bakura's house because it's easier for Malik to drive Mana and Akefia to school in the mornings. Yes Akefia is called, 'baby, 'angel' because Malik is such a momma. Lol.

The Touzoku Family chapter 2- Bed Time

After managing to clear most of the house of water and finally eating dinner, Ryou plopped himself onto the couch that was not being used by his brother, Malik, and Mariku to drink on.

"Thanks Ryou, I appreciate that _SOMEONE_ here knows how to clean up a mess" Malik hissed at her brother as she eyed Ryou appreciatively.

Ryou just nodded his head saying no problem as he laid back into the couch trying to get comfy.

Mariku shook his head as he examined Ryou, "It's sad. You do more work here than my lazy ass sister."

Malik who was sitting on Bakura's lap, grabbed Bakura's now empty beer bottle and tossed it at her brother's head.

The shattering noise was heard all around the house as it barely missed Mariku by a centimeter.

Mariku just smirked at his sister as he chugged down the rest of his beer and turned his attention back to Ryou.

"You probably have better aim then her too."

Ryou didn't have a chance to respond as Malik yelled back "Please! I am an awesome cleaner! Isn't that right Bakura?"

All three of them turned their attention to the man as he acted as though he didn't hear the question.

"Bakura?" Malik screeched as she grabbed a root of his hair and tugged as hard as she could.

Flinching in pain Bakura just grunted as he tried to push his wife off of him.

"Bakura!" Malik yelled once again as she pulled harder.

"S-sure Mal" Bakura hissed as he managed to get loose of the grip that had held him hostage.

Malik turned her attention back to Mariku to stick her tongue out at him but instead was stopped as his laughing filled the room.

"You are so whipped" Mariku chuckled at Bakura as he pointed an accusatory finger at him.

Bakura glared at him as he matted his hair back into place.

"Go bugger someone else you stupid-"

Bakura was stopped halfway through his insult though as Akefia and Mana came running into the living room screaming as though their lives depended on it. Isis and Rishid followed suit right behind them.

All of the adults knew what that meant. It was the dreaded bed time.

Ryou sat in silence as he watched Mana and Akefia running around the house giggling, while Isis and Rishid attempted to put them to sleep.

Needless to say it was quite amusing as Akefia rounded the corner of the couch to run straight into auntie Isis.

"Gotcha!" Isis exclaimed as she quickly grabbed her nephew before he could run away again.

Akefia yelled and kicked as he was being taken to his bedroom.

Mana just stuck her tongue out at him before running into the kitchen to avoid uncle Rishid.

"Mommy! Please!" Akefia yelled as he tried a different tactic and stared at his mother with a pout forming on his face.

Malik felt her motherly instincts kick in as her baby gave her that look and was about to say something when Bakura's arms grew tighter on her and whispered in her ear "Would you rather us have to put to sleep your demon child?"

Malik looked at Bakura in understanding before looking back at her baby and almost giving in once again.

"But 'fluffy-pants'! What's wrong with him staying up a bit longer?" Malik tried to wiggle out of her husband's grip as Akefia smiled an evil smile in knowing that his mother was almost in his trap.

Bakura growled in frustration as Mariku died of laughter from his nickname.

"Fluffy-pants? What the heck man?" Mariku asked in between his spells of laughter as he watched his sister struggling to get out of Bakura's grip.

"Malik he's tricking you damn it! And shut up Mariku!" Bakura spat as he tried to keep his wife calm and her brother to stop laughing at him.

"M-mommy!" Akefia yelped as though he was some innocent child that needed rescuing.

"Oh! Bakura let go so I can help my angel!" Malik yelled as she hit him directly in the face and began to finally break free of his grasp.

Isis rolled her eyes as she turned around the corner, up the stairs and walked into Akefia's room with a struggling child still grasped firmly in a hug.

Ryou finally let out all his laughter as the pure shock of being punched by Malik showed on his brother's face.

Bakura gave him a glare while he stood up and continued to hold the squirming Malik by her leg.

Mariku looked at him questioningly as he eyed his sister and then Bakura.

"Excuse me while I go have a talk with my wife" Bakura barked as he began to drag Malik out of the room and up the stairs.

Mariku and Ryou stared at each other in silence as yelling was heard all around the house.

"Now go to bed" Isis growled as she tucked Akefia in for the twelfth time that night.

Akefia just continued to struggle as he was forcibly tucked into his bed.

Downstairs Mana had finally been captured by Rishid who was now bringing the unhappy girl upstairs to sleep.

Isis smiled as she finally had the blankets tight enough to secure that Akefia would not escape. She bent down and kissed him on the forehead before walking out of his room and closing the door behind her.

Rishid walked up to her holding the still squirming Mana as he looked at Akefia's closed door.

"One down. One to go." Isis said as she grabbed Mana from Rishid and walked towards her bedroom.

Ryou glared at Mariku as their conversation had somehow turned into how girlish he looked.

Mariku just laughed as he strolled closer to Ryou and grabbed a lock of his hair twirling it around suggestively.

"You look so cute right now" he breathed on Ryou's face.

Ryou's facial expression was somewhat disturbed and very flustered.

"You drank way too many beers" Ryou claimed as he tried to scoot farther away from Mariku.

Meanwhile Bakura had successfully dragged Malik into their room and shut the door with a satisfying slam.

"What do you want? I'm trying to save our son!" Malik yelled as she pulled herself off the ground and was prepared to leave before Bakura pulled her onto the bed while kissing her.

"You know this is how Akefia was born" Malik mentioned as she kissed her husband's neck as he was unbuttoning her top.

Bakura was almost tempted to stop as the thought of his hyperactive son crossed his mind.

"Don't remind me"

Malik chuckled as she pulled away from his neck and stared at him.

"But seriously what would you do if I got pregnant again?" she asked as she began to unbutton Bakura's black shirt.

Bakura stared at the hands that were now pushing his shirt apart and just shrugged as he considered what to say "We would find you a rather large flight of stairs to fall down"

Malik smacked her husband as the thought seemed ridiculous to her.

"You just ruined it" Malik hissed as she scooted away from her husband and began to button her top.

Bakura rolled his eyes and scooted towards his wife on their bed.

"Don't be so dramatic" he laughed as he leaned in and kissed her.

Malik kissed back and they were just at the point of deepening it when a certain white haired child opened up the door and slammed it on his aunt's face.

"Mommy! Auntie Isis is gonna-" Akefia didn't finish his sentence though as he looked at what his parents were doing.

All three in the room seemed to be frozen as time ticked by in what seemed liked hours.

The only thing that broke the silence was the sickly expression that fell over Akefia as he leaned over and puked all of his food out onto his parent's floor.

_**~Gosh I thought I'd be farther along by now! Oh well, the next chap should be up soon. ~**_


End file.
